Dark Humor

Dark Humor

Life

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

Mistletoe

If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.

Hitler

What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?

One actually finished a race.

Class

I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.

Kid

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

Grandma

My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?

Microwave

What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?

A microwave won't brown your meat.

Basement

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

Susie

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

She had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Susie.

Baby

How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.

Orphan

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

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  • KFC

    Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.