Dark Humor

I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple actually got picked.

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.

Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.

What are Africans composed of?

99% Coca-Cola.

I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"

What is red and white and goes 200 mph?

A baby in a blender.

Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.

So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Dark jokes are just like food.

Not everyone gets it.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

Why are emo jokes so infamous?

They cut deep.

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

My humour is so dark that its life matters.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"