Dark Humor
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
What is black and blue and really hates sex? The six-year-old in my basement.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
My humour is so dark that its life matters.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.