Dark Humor
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
The "W" in Africa stands for water.