Dark Humor
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.