Dark Humor

So I went to a mall and I was finna buy something... and I saw a little boy and he said "hello," so then I passed by him and he said "hi," and I was like "hi nigga," and he said, "um, just wondering something... I mean I like jokes, but what is dark humor?" And I was like "umm🤔.. it's like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy without legs? Tell him to stand up"... and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"... aight nigga peace and look out😏😉

When someone tells me to kill myself,

Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.

Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!

Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!

Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

Penis.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.

Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?

Because they're always cutting.

What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: .....it...

Friend: No

Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!

Friend: Why are you like this?

Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

Wife: I’m pregnant.

Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.

Wife: No, you’re not.

I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.

Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"

I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”

Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.