Dark Humor

A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "No, you'd never bring it back!"

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

What's harder than steel?

Michel Jackson in an orphanage.

Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?

What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.

"Wanna play the rape game?"

"No!!!!"

"That's the spirit!"

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!

What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.

I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.

Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.

What's the best part about a dead prostitute?

The second hour is free.

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

Death once had a near Chuck experience.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.

Me: But they're not that long.

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me while he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.