Dark Humor

What colour would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025

Orange bc their having a they/them baby

A cop saw an old lady carring two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash. "How did you get all this?" asked the cop. "Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grapped by hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that nobody pees in my yard ever again." The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?" She said, "Not everybody paid."

What is black and blue and really hates sex?

The six-year-old in my basement.

Dark humor is like life not every one gets it

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny

What do emo kids and bats have in common?

They both hang from trees

Why was 6 scared of seven? because seven was a unregistered six offender

Alright, what do you call a blank piece of paper ?

Women's rights

6.7 and 8 are both scared of 10. but 10 is also scared. why was 10 nscarted?

because it was stuck between 9 and 11

A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?

A: To shoot up the whole school

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma

Friend: Slavery isnt good Other friend: Yea its terrible Me: shut up and get me a juice

Friend: how dark is ur humor Me: .....it... Friend: no Me:*smiles*GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!! Friend: why are you like this?

me, calls the police* me: hey imma commit suicide! cop on the phone: please wait till we get there me: why, so you can then stop me? cop on the phone: no, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper...and we are all bord! me: ok, my house number is ********************* ok! cop on the phone: awesome! just a sec. whispers*** guys I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

i had to stop drinking because i got tired of waking up in my car driving 90

want to know something jason and michael myers had to watch there family while they have to live forever thats why they kill there trying to make people expreience what they did.