Dark Humor
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.