Dark Humor
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Why can't emos have ADD?
'Cause they are already scatter-brained.
6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?
Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.
What's the difference between an orphan and an Egyptian?
Egyptians have mummies.
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
The depressed kid tried to high five the tree.
But the tree left him hanging!
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
Dark humor is like sex: not everybody gets it.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh