Dark Humor

Dark Humor

Baby

Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

A. Depends how thin you slice them.

  • 1
  • Emo kid

    When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

  • 4
  • Kid

    How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...

    Killer

    What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

    “They both blow heads.”

    Abortion clinic

    (sorry in advance this joke is brutal)

    What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?

    The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.

    Suicide

    Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

    Museum girl: Committing suicide.

    Allan: What about Friday night?

  • 2
  • Oven

    1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.

    Suicide

    Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

    Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

    Person 1: Really?

    Person 2: They're not even that deep.

    Woman

    So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

    I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

    Man

    If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

    Song

    What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...

    Let the bodies hit the floor.

    Adolf Hitler

    A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

  • 5
  • School shooting

    Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.

    Morbid humor

    What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

    Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

  • 3
  • Friend

    Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

    My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.