Dark Humor
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
The depressed kid tried to high five the tree.
But the tree left him hanging!
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
Why can't emos have ADD?
'Cause they are already scatter-brained.