What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? One stops sucking when you slap it
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces. So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
my grandma unplugged the internet cable so i unplugged her life support
how do you surprise 50 year old man? by putting a 12 inch dick through his ass. He said " best surprise ever"
how do you suprise a blind man by putting a plunger in the toilet
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
imagine this senario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses,diseases,etc in the world but cooler like this: "bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc" and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)
"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))
And slice jokes!
What kind of "slices"?
Handy ones. ^_^
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
what do u call a Chinese baby? sum ting Wong
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
