Dark Humor
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.