Dark Humor

I was crying when my dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

What did the titanic say as it was sinking?

I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

One stops sucking when you slap it.

What's a priest's favorite toy?

A mute little boy.

Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.

How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.

He said, "Best surprise ever!"

How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."

And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

I once saw a noose joke.

I wanna know how to make one :D

Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.