Dark Humor
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
I like alottopuss.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bay.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.