Dad jokes
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
Dad, I hate you!
Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?
Because she has to get on her knees.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"