Dad Jokes

Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick

Dad: ok son if you fail this test your no longer my child ok Son: ok dad AFTER TEST Dad: hay son how'd the test go? Son: son?

Yo everyone! My sis is pregnant😁, I’m gonna be a dad!

🎆 New Year's Eve

Lil Johnny👦: „Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight“

Mom👱🏻‍♀️: „Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?“

Dad👨🏻‍🦰: „Son, if you don't leave, it‘ll bang on your head!“

Dads secretary left her position, he tole me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

i would make a dad joke, but i dont have a dad to joke about.

roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone to

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can i have some milk?" He waited for three hours to get an answer. His mom finally said: "No your dad still isn't back with it."

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. his mom did too.

The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back

A child determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”

me: im home ma heres her with a new dad her: go hang wit someone :me gets the noose goes to fav tree i love you ma 🙂

What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?

The letter b

So 2 kids argued and insulted each other...

KID 1: Your dad left because he didn't want you so why don't you kill yourself?

KID 2: Well your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you.

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

whats the difference between my mum and my dad

My mum stayed

Cashier: Will you want the milk in a bag today sir?

Customer: I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind.

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."