Dad jokes
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Memes
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"