Dad jokes
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
Memes
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"