My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
