Cut jokes
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
How do butts start a conversation?
"Let's cut to the chase!"
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
To give everyone FRESH CUTS.
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.
Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?