Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Cut Jokes
Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival? Because he was cutting in line.
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Why did the lil kid cut himself?
Answer: Because he was emo, HAHHHAHAHAHAAHHA!
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
What's the one game emos hate?
Cut the rope.
Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
