Cum jokes

Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

Why are Santa's balls so big?

Because he comes once a year.

I'm about to cum!

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

What is cum's favorite hotel?

The Four Semens.

Squirtle to Bulbasaur: "You kinda cum... like a baka..."

What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?

What do condoms and whores have in common?

Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.

I'm Gay.

I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.

Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.

And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")

But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)

Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket

So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long

My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."

Don't you just love wrecking little girl's pussies? Like the tight feeling is just amazing. The great amount [of] ecstasy you feel when you cum and they get all squirmy. It's just the best.

What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?

They can both squirt out their cum.