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Jokes
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Community

Cum jokes

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Part

Anonymous · 6 years ago

The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.

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Bee

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Turkey

Kids · 7 years ago

Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.

Sex

Boobs · 6 years ago

What is white and comes out after you have sex?

Cum!

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People

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A split image with a dog on the left, saying "I don't wanna get political but" and the same dog on the right, looking at a map with the text "478 million people live in the cum zone" written over the USA. The map also has Canada and Mexico labeled.

Hamster

MEME LORD · 1 year ago

The image shows a text box above an image. The text says, "I fucked my hamster to death. Am I a psychopath? Basically I was fucking my hamster, like I usually do. But then I forgot to pull out. The hamster had cum leaking from its eyes and mouth. Then it exploded. I felt no remorse. Am I a psychopath?" Below is an image of a cartoon bear with an angry expression.

Ocean

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a message showing a dolphin-like head and the text: Me: "cums in the ocean." 20 years later in front of my door. Below this message is another message saying: "I would like you to stop messaging me".

Student

Tucker · 3 years ago

A screenshot from a Dhar Mann video with the text "Student Cums At School" on the left side and a student with white stuff on his face on the right side. The name "Dhar Mann" is below the text on the left. There is a blurry watermark in the bottom right of the image.

Dad

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An anonymous 4chan post from January 13, 2021, at 09:59:24 with the number 844740211. The post consists of a green text story:
"masturbating in bedroom", "about to cum", "dad comes running in naked screaming", "and here comes dad from left field!!", "he does a running jump", "lands asshole first on my dick", "penetration.png", "cum", "mfw he laughs and calls me a faggot for cuming in another guy". The post ends with "EVERY FUCKING TIME". To the left of the text is a drawing of Wojak pointing a gun at his head.

Type

Anonymous · 1 year ago

The image shows a text stating, "There are 2 types of people," followed by two comments. The first comment, by "Heroin Monkey," reads, "daddy diddy is cumming." The second comment, by "rylee!!," reads, "I get this is a jokes site but other people have convos as well on here. It's not just me and ethan so please stop."

Girl

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a definition of "dirty chewbacca" and below a cartoon of Skeletor, saying, "Even I'm not into that shit." The text above says: "When a girl is deepthroating you, you pinch her nipples right as you cum. Her scream paired with the warm liquid and dick in her throat will produce a sound similar to chewbacca's growl."

Hater

MEME LORD · 1 year ago

A shirtless man is sitting on a weight bench. The text says: "TO MY HATERS, KEEP SUCKING. I'M ABOUT TO CUM."

Sexuality

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

Team

MEME LORD · 2 years ago

A photograph of the Christian Universal Ministry team from 1980. The team members are wearing red and white uniforms with the word CUM printed on them.

Music

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A split image of sheet music with the word "cum" printed on the left and "pp (very hard)" on the right. The text above the image reads: "The 1975 sheet music:".

Student

Tucker · 3 years ago

The image shows a black male with white cream on his face. To the left of him, the text "STUDENT CUMS AT SCHOOL" is displayed in white and blue letters. Below, the name "Dhar Mann" is mentioned.

Student

Toast ツ · 2 years ago

The image shows text on the left that reads "STUDENT CUMS AT SCHOOL" and "Dhar Mann" beneath it. On the right, there is a close up of a person with white goo all over their face.

Choice

Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A meme on a pink background titled "YOU CAN ONLY PICK 2". It features nine colored pills (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, brown, black) each with a unique superpower or trade-off listed below it. The options range from financial wealth with a yearly physical cost to specific sexual or violent abilities, and niche gaming skills.

Semen

Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A screenshot of two 4chan posts. The top post features a greentext story and a picture of the anime character Cirno. The text claims the author used their own semen as a skincare product overnight and it cured their acne. The bottom post features a picture of Konata Izumi and a reply stating the user is going to try it, hoping it isn't a prank.

Acronym

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A world map where continents and regions are labeled with humorous and vulgar acronyms. The text above the map reads, 'the world i want to live in.' The labels include: C.U.M. for North America, B.A.L.L.S. for South America, A.N.U.S. for Africa, P.E.N.I.S. for Europe, S.E.M.E.N. for Russia, C.O.C.K. for Central Asia, S.H.I.T. for India, and F.A.G.G.O.T. for Australia.

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Community talk

Orlaith

"Nice guys finish last, I cum first dont have to ask." Makes fucking sense...

𒀰 روحي إلها 𒀰

ryan, why do you pretend to cum on a femboy avatar in vrchat

Hyphen (Cope)

everyone cum here

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