Cum Jokes

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your face with my cum

Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swagget worry about his premature ejaculation problem

A: he believes in the second cumming

Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.

A screenshot from a Dhar Mann video with the text "Student Cums At School" on the left side and a student with white stuff on his face on the right side. The name "Dhar Mann" is below the text on the left. There is a blurry watermark in the bottom right of the image.

Whats the difference between acne and a Catholic priest ? Acne doesn't cum on a kids face til their 13 or 14

Jimmy caught his parents having sex and asked what they were doing and asked if he could join because it looked fun and his mom asked why and he replied, "Well, Mommy, I see you and the mailman do it, and when he leaves he says, 'I can't wait to cum back, that was fun!' and now you and Daddy are doing it, so I wanted to try!" The dad gets angry at this and scolds the mother saying, "I can't believe you did that when I was gone, babe!" The mother was very sad, and then the father left and went to get divorce papers, and when he left the mother told Jimmy that he'd understand when he was older.

18 years later...

Jimmy has a girlfriend and asks her to call him a sus name, and she says only in the bed, and he agrees. Later, when they both are having sex, Jimmy's girlfriend asks if he used a condom or not, and he said that he didn't know what that was, so then 9 months later, she was pregnant, but abortion was illegal, so she gives birth and puts the child up for adoption.

A few years later, Jimmy has a good job and his wife now asked to have a child, and then she asked if she could call him a sus name while he did he, he said sure, and on they went with their clothes off and under the sheets. Jimmy gets a call from his boss saying he needed to go over really fast, it was an emergency, and so Jimmy left really fast. However, his wife was very unfaithful and called in a man to come as soon as possible, and then they did it. Jimmy came home after 10-18 hours and was very happy and went to tell his wife the great new, but then he heard strange sounds coming from the room and so he wen inside and was shocked to see his father and his wife having sex. Jimmy though didn't care that his wife had cheated on him he just said, "Well baby, tonight's your lucky night," and without any hesitation ripped off his clothes and jumped in the bed and they then had a threesome, and the wife said she was very happy that she had been done x2 and when Jimmy asked why she said,"Well I had two dicks in my vagina and now I'm so refreshed!" Jimmy was happy to hear that and then had a woman come over so that his wife and a woman would have a threesome again, and so then Jimmy saw that it was his mother and he really didn't want to do it, but his wife convinced him too and so he did it and his mother was going for Jimmy's wife more and more until Jimmy no longer was in the threesome and now only Jimmy's wife and his mother were doing it, this made Jimmy mad and this bit both of their boobs and they were shocked but then they pinned him down and bit his dick and then grabbed a bottle of alcohol and made him drink until he was drunk and then he started to eat their ass' and then called his father to come to have sex again and then they all had a foursome, the wife then called the police and had then all arrested and said," You all sucked" and Jimmy said," What about you too? You sucked me!" They all died of mental desires in jail. The end.

A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"

Dad: "Because I’m gay."

*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*

Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"

Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."

The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."

Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"

Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"

Son: "But it was a nightmare..."

*Dad turns into a monster*

Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"

The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.

The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.

What’s the difference between a zit and a priest, The zit waits tell your 12 to cum on your face

Old

Have you ever heard of Katie? Please come to KatieJennieJackson on Reddit. Her username is ok-community-2373.

My username is Big-reflection-104. C0mments from so other redditors are from her post:

Hello :). On sexy tummies. Where she is wearing a black croptop.

Are in the next post.

Moto is: Katie Jennie Jackson is so horny! Reddit username-Ok-community-2373. Follow her please. Her photos are made for you to cum for her, not at her. Thank you if you chose to think.

The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.