Cum jokes
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
Squirtle to Bulbasaur: "You kinda cum... like a baka..."
Why did the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was a gay male 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged not say anything to a group of gay white men that were not physically challenged after they called him a size queen after the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged was done taking turns giving them a blowjob and was done taking turns swallowing their sweet cum? 🇺🇸 🇵🇷
Because it was the best meal that he ever had since he has been in prison for 30 years. 🇺🇸 🇵🇷
Just cum.
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
Lady: I am going to come to your house.
Man: Ok.
An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.
Man: You are going to cum to my house!
And then he fucks her.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
Canada United States Mexico
C U M
Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"
The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!