Crush jokes
Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!
Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
That one friend who decides her life is a lie after her crush don´t like her back.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"
Brayden: "Hey!"
*Music roles around*
*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*
Brayden: "O_O"
Hailey: *Hides*
So sad </3 xD
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.
I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!