Crush jokes
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
Yo mama is so fat that she crushed her PlayStation profile.
What's a building's first crush? A plane.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Your mom is so fat that she broke your crush!
I have a crush on my sister!
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.