Crush jokes

I have a crush on my sister!

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

Ah (gas, gas, gas) Ah Do you like my car? Guess you're ready 'cause I'm waiting for you. It's gonna be so exciting. Got this feeling really deep in my soul. Let's get out, I wanna go, come along, get it on. Gonna take my car, gonna sit in. Gonna drive along 'til I get you, 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

Don't be lazy 'cause I'm burning for you. It's like a hot sensation. Got this power that is taking me out. Yes, I've got a crush on you, ready, now, ready, go. Gonna take my car, gonna sit in. Gonna drive alone 'til I get you, 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

Gonna take my car, do you like my car? 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

Gas, gas, gas, Yeah, yeah, yeah Gas, gas, gas, And you'll see the big show. Ah

What’s black and white and red all over?

A crushed nun!

What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow natives.

Yo mama is so fat that she crushed her PlayStation profile.

What's a building's first crush? A plane.

When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...

My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

Your mom is so fat that she broke your crush!

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

Me: Truth or dare?

Crush: Dare.

Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

I fell in love with my teacher.

Which is weird because I am home schooled.

If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)

Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?

Because he had a crush on her.

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday? Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

My mom is a chemistry teacher.

Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!

Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.

One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.

So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.