Crime

Crime jokes

Bank Robber

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

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  • Victim

    Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

    When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

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  • Rapist

    99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

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  • Memes

    Pedophile

    What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

    How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

    How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

    What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

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  • Sex

    Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

    A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

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  • Cop

    What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?

    "I guess orange is the new black."

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  • Rape

    I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

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  • Cannibal

    Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?

    Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.

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  • Cigar

    I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.

    Ok, not really racist but still funny.

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  • Rape

    I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

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