Crime jokes
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
This is whats going to happen to all the junior high girls on here.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
Rape is a touchy subject.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.
Ok, not really racist but still funny.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.