Crime jokes
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
Rape: The only crime where you have to tell the victim they couldn't do anything even if they could run or say something, then after, are told rapists stop them doing something about it.
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
Why did the prisoner run away?
To spit bars.
I never understood school shooting jokes.
I guess they were aimed at younger audiences.
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
What is one good thing about child molesters?
They drive slow past schools.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.