Crime Jokes

The police told everyone to put there hands up and the police were having fun waving there hands around.

Your so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.

What’s the definition of a pedophile Tyler

A man enters the bank and says, 'hi I'm robin, you'? The man was arrested instantly.

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dads friend and I would take him home, he just curled up into a ball and started crying, kidnapping must be easy.

its not a hate crime if you dont hate the person

I killed a Homeless dude now he's at funeral HOME 😭💔

Got kidnapped in Iran Luckily iran

Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene? He didnt have the guts to see it.

it's not a war crime if no ones alive to report it.

Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”? Like we get it bro she’s underage.

The Police officer in London , Who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman , drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car , murder her and do whatever to her , has appealed against his Whole Life tarriff.

He should be relieved it was only that ! , could of been worse ... could of married her !

he scratched his face up detective that did It did I do that

It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeist want sex.

POV: Wine Taster in hell

I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."