Crime jokes
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
Memes
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What's a rapist's fav position?
Missionary in a dark corner.
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.