Crime jokes
What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
5 is enough
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
At night I became a mattress murderer.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Jared from Subway touches the youth.
What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?
Ask him to tell a rape joke.
When is a rape victim right?
When she admits she lied.
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.