Crime jokes
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.
A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.