Crime

Crime jokes

Massage

  • So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

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  • Kidney

  • Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

  • 2
  • Baby

  • What's the difference between my basement and my garage?

    One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.

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  • Suicide

  • What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?

    When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.

  • 1
  • Team

  • Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?

    Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha

  • 2
  • Ass

  • What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

    My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.

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  • Rape

  • How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

  • 4
  • Balance

  • One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.

    Police

  • The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.