Crime jokes
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
I whopped my daughter's butt because she doesn't listen.
I now have a court date for child abuse and crimes against a deaf person.
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
Ever heard of rape jokes?
No?
Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To feel wanted.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.