Crime jokes
How did Michael Jackson get away with it?
He's a smooth criminal.
My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
Memes
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.