Crime jokes

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.

What is the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

What makes an ISIS joke funny?

The execution.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?

He wiped.

What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

How did Michael Jackson get away with it?

He's a smooth criminal.

Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.

Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

White Vans.

What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?

A. An assault rifle.

How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!

Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?

"I guess orange is the new black."

Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.