Crime jokes
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
No one.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.
Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.