Crime jokes
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.