Crime jokes
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."