Crime jokes
I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
POV: It's a rapists' groupchat, not a joke section. And it's SAD.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's cellmate.
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.
What do kidnappers play?
Roblox.
It is not funny about kidnapping.
Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.
Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)
when is rape wrong on so many levels?
inside a lift.
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.