Crime jokes
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's cellmate.
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.
What do kidnappers play?
Roblox.
It is not funny about kidnapping.
Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.
Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)
when is rape wrong on so many levels?
inside a lift.
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?
He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
"INNOCENT! THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE THAT THE GIRL WAS 13. It doesn't matter what texts he sent. There is no way to prove that the girl was 13, or the fact that it was a girl. Failed sting operation."