I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
Crime Jokes
What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.
What do kidnappers play?
Roblox.
It is not funny about kidnapping.
Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.
Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)
when is rape wrong on so many levels?
inside a lift.
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?
He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
"INNOCENT! THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE THAT THE GIRL WAS 13. It doesn't matter what texts he sent. There is no way to prove that the girl was 13, or the fact that it was a girl. Failed sting operation."
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
There was a kidnapping, but he woke up.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet.
One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asks. “No thanks,” the man replies. “I think you do want to buy a baseball,” the little extortionist continues. “OK. How much?” the man replies, after considering the position he was in. “Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy replies. “TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!” the man repeats. “That’s awful expensive,” but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” the boy starts off. “Yes, it is,” replies the man. “Wanna buy a baseball glove?” the little boy asks. “OK. How much?” the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. “Fifty dollars,” the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boy’s father says, “Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we’ll play some catch.” “I can’t. I sold them,” replies the little boy. “How much did you get for them?” asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. “Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That’s thievery! I’m taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Don’t you start that crap in here,” the priest says.
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
