Crime jokes
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?
A. "Pieces of You."
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.