Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?" "No." "Have you always been honest?" "No, never been caught!"
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
A guy who just got robbed says "I've been hacked and the hacker ransomware."
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window and says "We are looking for two child molesters". Now after a short pause the two men look at each other,then back at the officer and say "we'll do it!"
what do 9/10 people enjoy? Gang rape
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”? Like we get it bro she’s underage.
What the similarities of GTA V and 9/11. A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
When is a rape victim right?
When she admits she lied
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
They laughed at my drawing so I laughed at their chalk outline 😈
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he cant get 5 stars because he ain't wanted
i killed a man in 94
A panda walks into a restaurant orders some food and eats it. Once he was done he shoots the waiter then leaves. Police and detectives arrive at the scene, they ask the waiter "who did this to you? what happened?" The waiter replies "A panda, eats shoots and leaves"
Me: Hi Jacob Jacob: Hi Me: your parents went to jail for littering when you were born Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
