POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
What is a terrorist's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted I decided to go home
What do you call a black abortion clinic? Crime stoppers
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up that little shit wants to be gone down an alley
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if a dog is white with black spots then it is 90% great and 10 % guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
My best friend was Was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
Don’t be racist racism is a crime and crime is for black people
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
