My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up that little shit wants to be gone down an alley
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke? Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
if a dog is white with black spots then it is 90% great and 10 % guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
My best friend was Was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one
Don’t be racist racism is a crime and crime is for black people
only thing shittier than rapeboats rhymes r his jokes
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, Put on your helmet cause you're about to miss the short bus.
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
if being sexy were a crime you better lock me up. not because I'm sexy but because I have 5 dead children in my basement
Did you know that a majority of the U.S is afraid of the dark Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal. Doctors hope you get sick. Mechanics hope you get car troubles. But only thieves wish you prosperity. Weird?
a little boy decided to burn a house down. the father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "thats arson"
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
You do 1 line, you're not a crack head You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic But I murder 1 person...
Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people? A mass murderer.
Two priests walk into a store and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester and the priests both say I’ll do it
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?” Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
