Crime

Crime jokes

Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.

Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.

What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?

They both kidnap Canadian women!

When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.

Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?

A: He thought they tasted funny.