Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
