Crime jokes
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
Why did the little boy cry? He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."