Crime

Crime jokes

What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

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    • Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.

    Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

    The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.

    Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!

    What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

    The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.

    What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.

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    • A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.

    The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."

    "Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."

    "Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."

    If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

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