Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
Crime Jokes
@shelby denver is a massive nonce.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
My life #freemymanrkelly
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
