Crime jokes
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.
Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?
Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
There was a kidnapping at school.
Don't worry, he woke up.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”