Crime jokes
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
What do you call a black man with a gun? A gangsta.
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!
Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Why do school shooters have the best shots?
They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂
Stop hating on pedos; at least they drive slow in a school zone, smh 🤣
Madeline Mcannot find her.
Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.