
Country jokes
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
Why did the white girl come back from Africa?
Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."
Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
If humanity were to nominate the gayest country in the world, it would be Tel Aviv, honestly.
What's your mum's favourite food?
Chicken nuggets! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
We love Russia, we do.
We love Russia, we do.
We love Russia, we do.
Oh, Russia, we love you! 🇷🇺
Enough of the jokes. It's time Togo back home. (hah, I wanna cry.)
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
Which country makes me crack the fuck up?
LAUGHghanistan.
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
Why can't Americans play chess?
They lost two towers.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
