Country jokes
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite place to visit?
"Hee-Heegypt!"
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Russia—the real joke.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
Gays: I like men.
Straights: I like women.
Russia: Hole is hole.
Africa.