Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
Russia—the real joke.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
Gays: I like men.
Straights: I like women.
Russia: Hole is hole.
Africa.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!
Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
