Country jokes
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!
Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?
Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?
They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”
When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?
European.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
Russia—the real joke.
What do you call an African that is not hungry? Dead.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
- What do you call a bee who flew to United States? - "USB"
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."