Country

Country jokes

Fact

I would make a joke about America... However, the fact it exists is a joke in itself.

Flag

Jerry: What's the best thing about Switzerland?

Charles: I dunno.

Jerry: Well, the flag is a big plus.

American

Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?

Because they train at the best school.

Snail

Why do French people eat snails?

Because they don't like fast food.

Terrorist

People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.

Iran

Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.

Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"

Family

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:

"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."

The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"

Restroom

Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?

Answer: European (You're-a-peein')

Jew

A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”

American

You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.

But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.

Approximation

The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.

(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)

Rice

An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”