Country jokes
People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.
Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
What's the difference between an American and a computer?
Americans don't have trouble shooting!
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
What's Japan's favorite hot sauce?
Da Bomb.
Jerry: What's the best thing about Switzerland?
Charles: I dunno.
Jerry: Well, the flag is a big plus.
I would make a joke about America... However, the fact it exists is a joke in itself.
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
America... Amefrica... Amfrica... Africa...
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.