Country jokes
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
What's the difference between an American and a computer?
Americans don't have trouble shooting!
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
It's a Italy day outside the fields.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don't like fast food.
Why is America bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.
If African immigrants are supposed to stay in their country, why can't their resources do the same?
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
Putin is the only person whose country is bigger than his mind.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
America... Amefrica... Amfrica... Africa...
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”