Country jokes
- What do you call a bee who flew to United States? - "USB"
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
So, there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof! Appears the genie!
The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.
Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.
Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes."
The white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."
Canada.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
What do you call a hungry person?
African.
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
You wanna talk Kenya ;)
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.
"North America, best America."
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
Germany is...
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."
If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?
A European.