What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
Beep Jokes
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.
One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.
One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.
The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"
Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
I go beep like a Jeep.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
FNF: Beep bop.
Parappa: Cook those burgers and believe!
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
"Cargo." "Cargo who?"
"Cargo beep, beep, beep, be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-b!"
