Consequence jokes
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?
There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
This is mean af. Y'all need to stop this. Like, what the f *ck? What would happen if you all grew up and you were like this? Like, damn.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."