Consequence jokes
Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
Why did half the world go to hell? Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED (again)!
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.
Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."