Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
Ones a good year the others a great year!
Why laws forbids hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: insider trading
You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less dna evidence
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. they did this one time a night. The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said eww it tastes like cheese and onions. The husband replied hang on I haven't put the condom on yet.
when your rother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b day (* *)
What do u call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: I don't use condoms I use my drawbridge.
tech administrator of a school: hm, a message from google security? tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT! assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME? tech administrator of a school: WEVE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE! assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! that's a good one, almost as good as the one with jack, jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right? head of school board: *whispers* yeah were fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
what do you call a wet condom
a wet condom
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there" the boy replied. The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked "do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" the boy replied " "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing" said the pharmacist. That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. the girls father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "you never told me that you were so religious" the boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist"
What’s the difference between women and condoms ?
There isn’t a difference they’re both throw aways.
Why can't a a citizen in communist china especially a chinese male who is between 18 - 29 years old can not buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist china? Because the condom would be too big for the penis of chinese men in communist china
a customer came too me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
Why did two 👱♂️ 👱♂️ dumb 👱♂️ 👱♂️ blondes put condoms on the cow's udders 🐄 because they wanted the 🐄 cow to practice safe sex
Why were condoms invented, so gay guys can have sword fights.
Little of topic but Mum. You.wouldnt be here without me Son and my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory Mum fair point
Other condom name is a orphan’s home
Why did the Irishman use 3 condoms? Yo be sure to be sure to be sure
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are "Your not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "Your right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
