My wife is a optimist our first night together she handed me a magnum xl condom. I didn’t know what to do so I made her a balloon animal 🎈 🦒
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year. Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, i give you bad luck for 7 years. Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote " don't be dumb make sure they're numb and always use a condom!"
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
The mirror says: if you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck.
The Magic Jewel says: if you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck.
The condom just sitting there laughing.
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off
Your brith certificate is like a apology from the condom factory...
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
Why did the dumb blonde 👱♂️ pee inside the condom because the doctor told the dumb blonde 👱♂️ that the dumb blonde 👱♂️ was going to get a urine test
My Penis is big and long what else is... my condom.....cucumber🥒🥒🥒🥜🖕🤬
what's does a condom and a coffin have in common? they both still have stiffs but one is cumin and one is going.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What did the penis say to the condom??
Cover me in going in
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
Two brothers play on the street, one of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is they go to their mum and asks what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately. Guys go back to the yard surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: why did mum got so angry, the other: i have no idea thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing The beer bottle says: if you break me you get one year of bad luck The mirror scoffs: oh, that's nothing, you break me and you get 7 years of bad luck. The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing
