5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom "bullets" we don't talk about this anymore
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
what did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? Safe life repair, safe life replace!
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
the s in america stands for safe.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence...
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
When is a rapist safe around children? When his plans are oven ready
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did the chicken crack the safe. To get to her nest egg.
why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
A plane is going to crash there are four passengers and only three parachutes. all the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first he says, my fans need me and jumps, Donald trump takes another and says I am the smartest president, jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute. The boy replies don't worry - Donald took my backpack.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe. (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers each person spins it and try not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not you point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger)
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok there just telling me to keep myself safe :)
that's it, it wasn't a joke.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Why boys feel safe at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch? Ronald McDonald's don't put his meat between boy's buns
