Comparison jokes

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

When we talk of our X, some people talk of their XXX. 🤣

Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.

You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.

What do a banana and shampoo have in common?

Ur mom.

Bruh, your forehead is so big even Megamind has some competition!

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.

Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!

Your mum is stupid, just like you.

What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!

Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.