Comparison jokes
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
2020 lol
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.
Your hairline looks like a brick wall.
Yo, your hairline look like a cup.
What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.