Comparison jokes

Bruh, your forehead is so big even Megamind has some competition!

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.

What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.

You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.

I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.

What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?

They both got them big parts.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?

A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

When we talk of our X, some people talk of their XXX. 🤣

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I pray God I'm not so ugly as you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!

Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.