Comparison jokes

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.

I ass big ass you :-)

Me.

The joke is as short as me.

Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?

1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....

Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.

Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.

Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.

My life is like... the shoe rack-

Does that dick match that forehead? 👀

If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.

Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!

Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure."

It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.

Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.

What do a banana and shampoo have in common?

Ur mom.

Your forehead is so big you look like MegaMind.

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.