Comparison jokes

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.

Me.

The joke is as short as me.

There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.

Tada mun ang hai jiwain taage naal khota bania Honda ae.

I ass big ass you :-)

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

Does that dick match that forehead? 👀

Americans leave without saying goodbye.

Russians say goodbye without leaving.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?

A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.

Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.

What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.

Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.

What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.

What is the difference between a tree and walking home from a wheelchair?

What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?

One's a fucking tree.