Comparison jokes

I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.

I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.

I’ve seen doorknobs more interesting than LEO.

Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.

What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.

Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)

What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.

What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?

They both cheated!

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.

What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?

One's a fucking tree.

What is the difference between a tree and walking home from a wheelchair?

Roses are red,

My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.

What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?

I've never sucked on dicks.

Yo mama is so fat that she's bigger than the cinematic Marvel Universe.

What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?

When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.

You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!

Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?