Comparison jokes

What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

Your mum is stupid, just like you.

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.

Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!

Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?

1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....

Y yo body built like a half a tooth pic lol.

Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.

Me.

The joke is as short as me.

There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.

Tada mun ang hai jiwain taage naal khota bania Honda ae.

I ass big ass you :-)

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

Does that dick match that forehead? 👀

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.