Comparison jokes

Your mum is stupid, just like you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I pray God I'm not so ugly as you.

Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!

Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.

Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?

1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?

A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.

What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?

They both got them big parts.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.

Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.

Y yo body built like a half a tooth pic lol.

I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.

Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."