Comparison jokes

Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.

What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.

I’ve seen doorknobs more interesting than LEO.

I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.

Luke looks like Big Chungus and Fat Sonic.

Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?

A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.

Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.

Americans leave without saying goodbye.

Russians say goodbye without leaving.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?

Presentation.

Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

Does that dick match that forehead? 👀

Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.