Comparison jokes

Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!

You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.

When we talk of our X, some people talk of their XXX. 🤣

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.

Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.

What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?

They both got them big parts.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?

A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.

Y yo body built like a half a tooth pic lol.

I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.