Comparison jokes
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
AOT > ur fav anime.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.
I’ve seen doorknobs more interesting than LEO.
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.