Comparison jokes
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
What do Rapboat and Caseoh have in common?
They're both chubby.
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.