Comparison

Comparison jokes

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Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?

Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.

What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?

One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.

What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.

What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?

Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.

Roses are red, Violets are ugly.

Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.

The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Maid: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Maid: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."

Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"

Maid: "No, the gardener did."

Wife: "So how much do you want?"

What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!

Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.