Comparison jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
What do Rapboat and Caseoh have in common?
They're both chubby.
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.