Comparison jokes
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
What do Rapboat and Caseoh have in common?
They're both chubby.
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.